Its been a few months since I last put out a post so here is a new one!
If you havent checked it out yet I put out my first song in over a year the other day:
https://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/818210
The last time I made a news post I was letting you all know I had exams coming up so I was going to be busy... well they didnt go that well, I failed 4 modules. Two core and two optional, so I have to resit the two core exams in the first week of september if I want to carry on with my course at university in october. I have a revision schedule and everything, I just need to have the will power to stick to it. Im not going to be completely busy over the next month but I will have less free time to do stuff. Not that this really matters since my rate of production is that slow, although there is a second project which I have been working on in parallel with the project I released the other day... Its quite a bit more complex however, having a lot more different sounds and patterns. Its also going to be a bit longer when its done (Im guessing about 4 and a half minutes) I dont like making false promises so Im not giving an ETA, it comes when it is ready.
Another thing I think I need to talk about is my poor self esteem and lack of motivation with music making, whenever I first start a project Im very ambitious about what it can be however when I start to devellop it and it becomes more of a song and less of a concept I end up thinking that what Im doing isnt good enough and I put it on a back burner and proceed to start a new project. That or I run out of ideas. This feeling of running into a brick wall when making stuff just crushes my motivation and makes me wonder why I even bother in the first place, so I just dont do it a lot of the time. The thing is I want to keep making music deep down because when Im in the zone I truly do enjoy myself. I just need to find a way to overcome this hurdle... listening back though what I do really isnt bad at all, its just a feeling I get mid production.
Im trying my best to be optimistic about the future, Im going to absolutely nail those resits and hopefully start pumping out content more regularly... maybe eventually Ill get requests from people for me to make OSTs for their own work, which is kind of the dream for me right now. I want this to be my job some day, but until then I just have to keep trying :)
If youve made it this far thanks for taking the time to read this... walls of text can be offputting sometimes.
Ill let you all know how things go some time next month, thanks - Arrez